5 tips for breaking free from your phone
“How can you wake up from the matrix, when you don’t even know you’re in it?”
Do you find it hard to detach from your phone? Time to stop getting sucked in by the tech, and start fighting back.
Two weeks ago, on the night I watched the documentary The Social Dilemma, something hit home. I didn’t just concede I had an addiction to my phone and social media — like millions of others — I confronted a raw and terrifying truth: if we continue on this road, we’ll essentially lose what makes us human.
Our relationship with our phones is leading us like zombies towards an existential crisis. We need to get off the highway, and relatively fast.
Experts like former Google Design Ethicist Tristan Harris believe the grip that the tech platforms has on us is not only causing severe social and political damage, it’s “downgrading” us as humans; narrowing our minds, reducing our empathy and interpersonal skills, hurting our relationships, and ultimately making us miserable.
A study by the American Journal of Epidemiology found that higher social media use correlated with self-reported declines in mental and physical wellbeing, and broader research links the troubling surge in teen suicide rates to an over-use of social media and the internet.
But it’s a widespread problem, crossing multiple generations. A massive 66% of the US population show signs of being addicted to their phone - a condition now formally recognised as Nomophobia (no-mobile phone-phobia; the anxiety or fear of not having your phone with you). 71% of us sleep with or next to our phone.
The average person checks their phone 150 times a day.
Yet, when it comes to the use of our devices, it’s hard to imagine an exit strategy. This is the future; there’s no getting away from the tech. And while AI and algorithms are getting smarter and more efficient at taking our attention, time and data; our control is weakening at an alarming rate. Our brains aren’t cut out to compete with the psychological tactics at play. So how can we put the brakes on?
“The average person checks their phone 150 times a day. Why do we do this? Are we making 150 conscious choices? One major reason why is the #1 psychological ingredient in slot machines: intermittent variable rewards . . . Addictiveness is maximized when the rate of reward is most variable.”
As with the climate crisis, we need to come together collectively to demand change, calling on our leaders, the platforms and regulators to step up and put policies in place to protect us. But we also need to do what we can as individuals, taking steps to detox our data, increase our online privacy, share information and start conversations with friends and family. And most importantly, change our day-to-day ‘user’ habits.
Here are 5 tips to help you free yourself from your phone, reclaim your valuable time, and ultimately get back to real living.
OUT OF SIGHT, out of mind
Simplistic as it sounds, putting distance and barriers between you and your phone can be one of the most effective tricks in the book. A 2017 study in The Journal of the Association of Consumer Research found that the mere presence of our phone - even if it’s powered off, and we’re actively ignoring it - ‘reduces available cognitive capacity’ (which the study’s authors refer to as ‘brain drain’).
It could be as simple as finding a cupboard, drawer or box (ideally with a lock) to store your phone in when you’re at home. Set its charging station somewhere outside the bedroom or living room, away from where you spend time relaxing (think hallway, landing or utility area). If possible, have it hidden inside something even when charging. Get others in the household on board too.
Turn off notifications
Those bold red circles that pop up on your apps look alarming, right? That’s the point; they’ve been carefully designed to trigger an immediate response. Not with your interests in mind, though, only the interests of the companies who profit from your time. It’s worth recognising that. Usefulness is not a factor, so turn off anything that vies for your attention that doesn’t provide important, timely information.
Go to Settings > Notifications, or swipe left on any incoming notification and hit Manage > Turn Off. Remember, notifications are a psychological device aimed to mess with our heads. That fear of missing something ‘important’ is just that: a fear. There are no actual ramifications of you not seeing that notification. (See more about this under point #5!)
DELETE + DECLUTTER
Uninstalling apps that aren’t helpful to you is a vital step. And this becomes easier if you consider the true value versus overall detriment of some of the apps you use. Toxic apps come in many forms: they can be apps that profit off of addiction, distraction, outrage, polarization, and misinformation. (So, um, every big social media platform then!)
If it feels too much to remove everything at once, delete one at a time at your own pace. Start with the app that feels like the biggest time-sucker or most brings your down, perhaps due to social comparison or negative distractions (er, is there any other kind?)
Create a minimalist homepage on your phone that features only a few truly useful apps that enhance your life and you feel in control of. There are some excellent alternative social media apps with more ethical principles. Some are fairly new and really well reviewed. Check out Marco Polo and Signal, both of which are private and ad-free.
If you need to dip in to the big platforms, decide to spend time on them ONLY from your desktop or laptop at specific times of day. If you use them for business accounts, manage content updates via scheduling tools like Buffer or SocialBee.
This article gives some great advice on specific apps you might want to think about ditching.
Watch ‘The Social Dilemma’
It’s been described as “perhaps the most lucid, succint, and profoundly terrifying analysis of social media ever created for mass consumption.” (Indiewire). And without doubt, this Netflix docudrama, from the creators of Chasing Ice and Chasing Coral, WILL leave you feeling unsettled and fearful for our future. But also, differently towards your phone. (I found myself pushing mine under a cushion, mid-film, if that’s in any way telling!)
The film features a number of Silicon Valley insiders and experts ranging from psychologists to human rights activists to AI programmers, as they discuss some of the biggest issues facing the world today: disinformation, threats to freedom and democracy, polarisation, radicalisation, and the mental health crisis amongst young people, to name a handful.
But the fear and shock you experience afterwards needs to be fuelled towards change. First, head to thesocialdilemma.com for ideas on what to do next. Followed by a visit to the Centre for Humane Technology website to delve deeper into the issues arising from our tech addiction. Give their podcast a listen too. It’s called Your Undivided Attention and is hosted by Tristan Harris (who I seem to be quoting everywhere because he speaks so much sense!)
Understand the psychology
Mindfulness is something we need in rich supply in today’s world. Not only does it help us practise self-compassion, it enables us to better understand and recognise the triggers of negative feelings. Knowing what vulnerabilities the technologies play to can go a long way to helping us redress the power balance. So what are these? Our need for approval, is one example. Our sense of obligation to reciprocate a message or ‘like’, our Fear of Missing Something Important (FOMSI), or our belief that ‘success’ correlates with our number of followers.
The key is to catch the emotion, and recognise the motivation in the moment. Not easy! It you can get in the practise of seeing the bigger picture, you can refocus your thinking towards your wellbeing and staying in control, keeping The Social Dilemma front of mind here! Remember, breaking a habit is tough to do unless you stay attentive to the behaviour, and importantly think of a new positive action to replace the negative. This might be grabbing the book you desperately want to finish, taking a moment to meditate, or getting a quick burst of exercise. Why not even use the moment to scribble down exactly what it is you’re hoping to change. You are 42% more likely to achieve your goals if you write them down, according to a study by the Dominican University in California.
Have these ideas helped? Please share any thoughts or suggestions below on how you manage your screen time.
MUST-READS:
Tristan Harris’ article on Medium: How technology is hijacking your mind - from a magician and Google Design Ethicist
The Binge Breaker - on The Atlantic
“Right now it’s as if all of our technology is basically only asking our lizard brain what’s the best way to impulsively get you to do the next tiniest thing with your time, instead of asking: in your life, what would be time well spent for you?”